Sweeties! For a few moments I’ve been zoned out watching a chubby robin hop about the garden out my window, flying a few feet in the air, settling back down, strut about, crane his head towards the sky, briefly examine the ground, etc. and it’s such a reminder of how much I am looking forward to my time off next week. I’m sorry, what were we talking about?

INTERNET TIME

• This may be hands down the greatest lede I’ve read in a while: “I put on a dress the other day. I felt like a lizard person trying to persuade the humans of Earth that I was one of them.” Well done, Estelle Tang: Jeans And Bras Are Over. We Live In A Sweatpants World Now. (BuzzFeed)

• How are people doing, in general? Well, “Famous flower pops up at abandoned Bay Area gas station, draws crowds.” (SFGate) And that flower is a Corpse Flower, “which can be smelled from up to half a mile away.” WE’RE DOING GREAT, FOLKS.

• Ummmm, so there’s a fungus on the east coast that (checks notes) is EMITTING AMPHETAMINES and causing Brood X cicadas to, ahem, drop their junks and get super randy. I promise this link is SFW even if the headline is seemingly not: A Fungus Is Pushing Cicada Sex Into Hyperdrive And Leaving Them Dismembered (NPR)

• I mean… is anyone surprised? Obama called Trump a 'corrupt motherf---er,' a 'racist, sexist pig,' and a 'f---ing lunatic,' a new book reportedly says (Insider) It’s days like these that I am grateful the Former Guy no longer has a direct injection into the news veins of the nation via Twitter, because WOOF it would be messy if he read a headline like that.

• And finally, Mum of the Missive shared this VICE video on how pesky habitat-destroying mountain goats are being tranq darted and airlifted out of Olympic National Park, and they look hilarious. 

Get outside if you can, take a few deep breaths, and say hello to your local flora and fauna for me, won’t you?

Xoxo Amy