ALERT: You're Entering a Sportsball-Free Monday Morning

Happy Monday, lovelies. Now that I’ve found a genetic explanation for being the most obnoxious morning person you’ll ever meet, I will not go gentle into this good morning. Oh no, too much happened this weekend my friends, onwards!

Let’s discuss Saturday’s Republican debate. Like a good left coast urban hipster elder millennial, I was following the debate via Gawker and Twitter, which meant I only understand it via reaction gifs and delicious schadenfreude. In my favorite moment, Chris Christie busted out his US Attorney voice and schooled Rubio on why you always remain nimble on talking points. It was a fascinating interaction, with Rubio valiantly trying to spin back to his overarching 'Obama = Awful' narrative while Christie jumped in and jabbed each time Marco took a breath.

Look, as someone who does public affairs and communications for a living, I’m impressed at how drilled that stump speech was into his head, but watching his eyes get wide as he kept playing that song over and over again… Oy. Talking point-gate has been added to my work nightmare list, between a typo in a national press release headline, and a client leaving his mic on. We’re so used to bully Chris Christie but he didn’t get hysterical; Rubio brought a spoon to a knife fight, as he hemmed and ummed and hawed while Christie surgically stabbed with his level “I’m just trying to help you Marco” voice. I agree with David Frum (and you need to read his tweet storm on the topic) as to why it is important to serious consider this gaffe, especially if Republicans are using Rubio as a response to Obama.

And I wish we could all have as much self confidence as Jeb Bush just after he reminds Trump he tried to take "property from an elderly woman", and the crowd boos. The last few weeks of Bush in the single digits have just made me like him more (see: gif below.)

I haven’t forgotten the Democrats. Bernie had a great weekend, starting with the Democratic debate on Friday, and a stellar appearance on SNL with an appearance and a Digital Short he ‘directed’ of Larry David in ‘Bern Your Enthusiasm.’

Clinton? Well, let’s just say it wasn’t a restful one. Between Gloria Steinem inferring that young Sanders’ supporters are doing it for "the boys,” Madeline Albright invoking her famous line “there’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help each other,” and Bill Clinton addressing the “BernieBro” issue at a rally, let's just say it was an interesting weekend. This whole strategy strikes me as counterproductive and, frankly, offensive, and I’m a Hillary supporter, may I remind you, who was told in a meeting with a VC that I only supported her because I'm a lady (ha.)

For one thing, to say women should support (read: vote) for women is insisting on exactly what we’re criticizing the mythical “BernieBro” for yelling about - that women can only vote with their lady parts. This approach conveniently forgets that many women never would have voted for Palin’s ticket in 2008, with some Dems referring to women who supported the Sarah as “Palinbots.”

This tone seems to be having an opposite effect on female supporters for Sanders, if my Facebook timeline is any reflection, with many decrying being scolded and patronized. Personally, am I supporting Clinton because I am female? No, it’s because I am a one-issue voter who recognizes the role the US plays on the world stage, and I want a Democratic president who will get shit done despite a likely Republican Congress. I hope this sort of rhetoric does not continue.

And finally, coming this summer, BRITISH EAGLES VS. DRONES. Police in the Netherlands are already testing it out, and the clip in the link above of an eagle snatching a drone out of the air is amazing. But now we’ll need a robot cat to catch the eagle… this will not end well.