All Hail the Benevolent Paws of the New Deputy First Dog

There is no other news than the news that the Republic of California has a new Deputy First Dog named Cali Brown. Cali is a Border Collie - Poodle mix, a “Doggocrat”, and will be spending her time “herding staff at the State Capitol and will lend a paw around the family ranch in Colusa County.” First Dog Colusa Brown, a corgi mix, is a “#ProudBigSister.” And THAT! my friends is how a press office manipulates the attention and emotions of good news-hungry constituents. And I'm sure you'd agree that we shouldn't have it any other way.

Attention fellow weird history obsessives: “Wearing a 19th-Century Mourning Veil Could Result in — Twist — Death”. Once again, Racked has my click, ad-served attention, and heart.

Friends of the Missive Michael and Brendan shared this gosh darned delightful story: “One-of-a-kind Indians pitcher marries charity and trolling with his 69 Days of Giving” (nice.) Pitched Trevor Bauer initially asked to be paid $6,420,969.69 (nice) but settled on $6.5 million. But he still plans on giving $420.69 (nice) a day to charity for the 68 days, then giving $69,420.69 (nice) on the 69th (nice) day. I like this guy.

Today in “no shit, Sherlock”: YouTube and Pinterest Influencers Almost Never Disclose Marketing Relationships.

And finally, if you consume legal recreational cannabis in California and you don't advocate for the rapid clearing of all previous marijuana convictions from Californian records, you’re doing it wrong.