All The Cool Kids Are Still Recovering From COVID-19
A couple of Fridays ago, I was contemplating how to smugly share the study showing that Cannabis Can Prevent COVID-19 Infection (Vice) when I looked down at my half-cooked antigen test lurking on the one barren spot of my messy kitchen counter and saw a faint—but definitely there—second line. Yup, on January 14th, after nearly two years of trying my best to avoid it, I tested positive for COVID-19.
And oy, what a ride it has been. After waking up one morning with a suspicious sore throat that I just knew was COVID, it’s been a few weeks of symptoms I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Imagine the worst cold you’ve ever had - now multiply that by five, add in the chills and aches of your worst flu times 5, and throw in an uneven and non-linear recovery process, and you’ve got yourself a miserable Amy. My breakthrough case was technically a “mild” one—I am vaxxed and boosted—in that I was lucky enough to not require hospitalization, but after two years of no colds, no flu, no real communicable disease, this pesky little virus hit me fast and hard and long.
If anyone is curious, the symptoms seemed to resemble what’s being reported about the Omicron variant - it started in my throat, migrating to my sinuses and chest, with no fever. But it also included a deep cough and shortness of breath, as well as loss of taste and smell, so I dunno? And the fatigue, oh god the fatigue, the kind of fatigue that makes the prospect of moving from one’s couch to one’s bed a monumental achievement, with an ever-present brain fog that made reading anything an impossibility. I wasn’t prepared for how it came in waves - five days in, I felt like I was improving, but then I got hit again, grounding me for ten full days of being laid out watching Criminal Minds, which re-watching has become a security blanket for my addled brain (glad my therapist doesn’t read the Missive…)
It was so bad I took a week off of work, after cursing the fact it hit me the Friday of a long weekend—stupid virus and its stupid bad timing. I thought I’d be ready and rested after three days at home, but Monday night came around, it is was apparent there was no way in hell I’d be going to work the next day. And needing to take the time off, needing to admit that I wasn’t well enough to do my job when so many of my colleagues had had a mild case (just working through COVID, excuse any delayed response!) was hard - I may be someone who preaches the importance of taking your sick days, taking your PTO, BEING KIND TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU CATCH THE PLAGUE, but it took many texts from good friends telling me to chill TF out and take the damn time (you know who you are and I love you for it) to make me actually do it. I admit, that is insane: if you can’t take time off when you’re flattened with COVID, when the hell are you going to take the time off? It’s so silly that we’ve been conditioned to expect ourselves to work through literally anything.
You all also know I am single, and live by myself - being in the ring with coronavirus for as long as I was made starkly apparent the importance of community, friends and family. Because I am a hyper independent human and am privileged enough to be able to have groceries and cold medicine delivered (let’s talk at some point about how gig economy workers are the reason I was able to stay in and recuperate) but it was getting phone calls and texts and emails and DoorDash deliveries from friends and family, some who diligently checked in with me everyday, that reminded me that I’m not an island, no matter how much I sometimes think I can be.
After two years of doing nearly everything I could to avoid this pesky virus, I got it. And honestly, there were moments of moral panic on my end - could I have done more? Did I slip up? What did I do wrong? But that’s the reality of where we’re at right now - this virus is incredibly contagious. And thank goodness for modern science, because based on how my body reacted to this, it would have been so much worse if I hadn’t been doubled vaxxed and boosted.
None of what I’ve said above is novel or especially important - nearly six million people have died worldwide, 74 million people have caught the virus in the US alone. Reading the above seems indulgent and a bit self-centered, but then again I send a morning email to strangers with my random thoughts on silly things sooooooooo……
I know many of you have recently gone through this and unfortunately many of you will in the future. For those recovering, I hope you’re on the mend. For those who may catch it, I hope your case is milder than mine was.
But I leave you with this kind sentiment sent to me when a dear friend that I had indeed tested positive, and was anxious about “failing” in some way:
“Perhaps you can take solace in Omicron also being: 1) a remarkable little bit of evolution and 2) a reminder that the “individual” is a delusion and that all humanity is fundamentally interconnected 😬”
Stay safe out there, friends. Be kind to yourself.
xoxo Amy