April Fool’s Day is for Monsters, Don’t @ Me.
My delightful ones, how are we this fine Monday morn? Are you wondering whether or not today’s Missive will contain an oh-so-clever April Fool’s Joke, designed to make you think I’ve quit my job to become and underwater basket weaver? Or that I’ve foresworn the company of others in order to manage a silent retreat in the Sierra Nevadas? Or that I’ve (gasp!) finally seen the political light and am now an avowed Libertarian and/or anarchist? Well, joke’s on you, because as the subject line suggests, I am NO FAN of April Fool’s, and am fully in support of the Microsoft Marketing Chief who told his company to cut that crap out.
The California DMV gets a metric tonne of personalized license plate applications every year and hoooooo boy, the way the beleaguered staff who review them decide is pure comedy.
This is a Monday long read, but since it involved Napoleonic History and pugs, I assumed there was a tiny Venn diagram of subscribers who really needed this to start their week off: Queens of Infamy: Josephine Bonaparte, from Martinique to Merveilleuse by Anne Thériault.
And finally, Tina Brown is wondering if women can save the world, and while I think that language is simplistic and reduces and otherwise fascinating conversation to a bumper sticker, I do enjoy her opinion overview of the current state of female political leadership, What Happens When Women Stop Leading Like Men: Jacinda Ardern, Nancy Pelosi and the power of female grace. Though I wish she hadn’t have included this: “I can bet a bucket of Bitcoins that we’ll never learn that any of the four married women plausibly seeking the Democratic presidential nomination are secretly sexting pictures of parts of their anatomy to a boyfriend” because that’s like saying Candyman three times and spinning around in front of a darkened mirror. It’s essentially summoning nude selfies.
I like you all. Stay off the internet today and don’t read a darned word you read. And as the Lonely Island bards so delicately crafted in their eternal song YOLO, “Isolate yourself and just roll solo, be careful-o.”
You’re great. Be kind to each other, and to yourself.