Ascots, Headlines, Diplomatic Improvisation and Other Pathetic Decadences

It’s Friday, my darlings, which means it’s time to tie your ascot, clasp your tumbler of burgundy, and spray paint Fuck Trump on the side of a Fresh Grocer in Philadelphia. I kid, I kid, but the sight of this dapper City Attorney - who is somehow keeping his job in all this, which is insane to me - expressing his despair about this election on an “upscale supermarket” is basically this only indication I have that the universe has a sick sense of humor.

Because nothing is funnier than a President-elect of the United States (PEOTUS) who spends $7 million in tax breaks so that he can get the “[Company] Will Keep 1,000 Jobs In U.S.” headline while the company still off-shores hundreds jobs. Or a PEOTUS who makes “breezy” unscripted calls to nuke-possessing nation leaders with transcripts that some diplomats thought were a parody. Or a PEOTUS who talks about closing the internet in spite of “foolish people” whining about freedom of speech.

But that’s ok, at least we have good ol’ fashioned American pigskin games. And as you all know, I’m not exactly the hippest when it comes to the sportsball, but friend of the Missive Scott sent along this piece on how the National Football League is snagging our young through kiddie fantasy leagues, a TV show on NickToons and a public affairs campaign centered on tamping down the pesky conversations about “brain injuries” through mom-doctrination sessions and free swag. The subhead says it all: Inside the NFL's relentless, existential, Big Tobacco-style pursuit of your children.

And in the words of the disillusioned Republican politico Joseph Britt, who in an email to the Atlantic decried those whose helped propel us into this political Upside Down, “what a pathetic thing is decadence.

Stay kind, my poppets.