Autumnal, Autumnal, Autumnal 😳

Poppets! How are you? Are you rested? Have you had enough water today? Did you eat breakfast? You’re awesome and I want to make sure you’re taking care of yourself.

A programming note or two: tomorrow is Yom Kippur, so there will be no Missive, as I will be hungry and atoning in Synagogue. And this weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving, so the Missive might be missing Friday and Monday, depending on whether or not I emerge from my autumnal feasting slumber in time. (Can we talk about how much fun Autumnal is to say? Try it! Say Autumnal three times very loudly and then hold extra-long eye contact with the person nearest to you. It’ll be fun!) I will say, however: wanna send me some thoughts on why Canada is awesome? Cuz if I like them and get enough of them, I’ll send ‘em to y’all as a Canadian Thanksgiving greatest hits email (with links and credit, of course!)


  • Today I discovered that it’s not the racism or misogyny or gutting of the middle class or reversing every environmental protection that makes me the most insane, it’s the fact that the Trump trade war is going to make my favorite fancy butter more expensive (j/k, I’m too tired of and numb to this timeline to exhibit any form of emotional reaction to anything anymore LOLOLOLOLOL sigh.)

  • Thank you Friend of the Missive Christopher who, after reading yesterday’s Zoe Fenson piece, reminded me of this excellent piece Fenson wrote in February entitled Why women-only spaces still matter. Now, I’m someone who firmly believes that the levers of power must be open to every gender, and that gender-based discrimination is worthy of many mighty kicks to the shins. But this story spoke to me then, and speaks to me now: “Women-only spaces offer a respite from the pressure — and, often, trauma — wrought by that social conditioning.” Because I used to be the type of woman who’d proudly state that she had more male friends than female, and took it as a compliment when someone said “you’re not like other girls” (a statement that now gets this instant ban hammer when encountered in online dating apps.) Yes, I was 100 percent that (self-hating) bitch, and I’ve spent the last few years attempting to re-discover and re-commit to my female friends and mentors, and I’ve found those lady-only conversations to be a great psychological and emotional salve (shout out to Friend of the Missive Tre for consistently creating her own spaces for her and others.) There’s a key sentence in Fenson’s piece that stood out to me: “One of the patriarchy's nastiest tricks is convincing women that our marginalization is all in our heads,” and having female friends, colleagues and who can listen and validate my experience has been invaluable. And BTW, I think men should be encouraged to create safe male spaces in which they can express emotions, find support, and counter toxic masculinity. And if anyone needs a male yoga teacher in the Bay Area who leads men-only retreats, let me know and I’ll introduce you.

  • SPEAKING OF DESTRUCTIVE SEXISM, regarding the year-ago Kavanaugh confirmation and the surrounding subtly sexist rhetoric: “Calling him a “good man” implied that [Christine Blasey] Ford was a liar—the “bad woman” opposite this “good man”—without having to explicitly say it.”Hey, remember Elizabeth Holmes? You know, the lady wunderkind entrepreneur who scammed millions from investors and board members to create a blood testing company valued at $9 billion that didn’t actually work and potentially put thousands of lives in danger? Welp, she’s not paying her attorneys and they no longer want to BE her attorneys as a result.

  • Ronan Farrow has a new book out on Weinstein, private investigators and how hired operatives tracked reporters to try and squelch the story. Excerpts are being published in the New Yorker this week, and you can start reading ‘em here. And I do love the URL on this piece:

I’ll see your fabulous selves on Thursday! Be kind to yourselves, and have an easy fast if you’re observing.

xoxo Amy