Autumnal, Autumnal, Autumnal đł
Poppets! How are you? Are you rested? Have you had enough water today? Did you eat breakfast? Youâre awesome and I want to make sure youâre taking care of yourself.
A programming note or two: tomorrow is Yom Kippur, so there will be no Missive, as I will be hungry and atoning in Synagogue. And this weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving, so the Missive might be missing Friday and Monday, depending on whether or not I emerge from my autumnal feasting slumber in time. (Can we talk about how much fun Autumnal is to say? Try it! Say Autumnal three times very loudly and then hold extra-long eye contact with the person nearest to you. Itâll be fun!) I will say, however: wanna send me some thoughts on why Canada is awesome? Cuz if I like them and get enough of them, Iâll send âem to yâall as a Canadian Thanksgiving greatest hits email (with links and credit, of course!)
AND HERE COMES THE CONTENT!
Today I discovered that itâs not the racism or misogyny or gutting of the middle class or reversing every environmental protection that makes me the most insane, itâs the fact that the Trump trade war is going to make my favorite fancy butter more expensive (j/k, Iâm too tired of and numb to this timeline to exhibit any form of emotional reaction to anything anymore LOLOLOLOLOL sigh.)
Thank you Friend of the Missive Christopher who, after reading yesterdayâs Zoe Fenson piece, reminded me of this excellent piece Fenson wrote in February entitled Why women-only spaces still matter. Now, Iâm someone who firmly believes that the levers of power must be open to every gender, and that gender-based discrimination is worthy of many mighty kicks to the shins. But this story spoke to me then, and speaks to me now: âWomen-only spaces offer a respite from the pressure â and, often, trauma â wrought by that social conditioning.â Because I used to be the type of woman whoâd proudly state that she had more male friends than female, and took it as a compliment when someone said âyouâre not like other girlsâ (a statement that now gets this instant ban hammer when encountered in online dating apps.) Yes, I was 100 percent that (self-hating) bitch, and Iâve spent the last few years attempting to re-discover and re-commit to my female friends and mentors, and Iâve found those lady-only conversations to be a great psychological and emotional salve (shout out to Friend of the Missive Tre for consistently creating her own spaces for her and others.) Thereâs a key sentence in Fensonâs piece that stood out to me: âOne of the patriarchy's nastiest tricks is convincing women that our marginalization is all in our heads,â and having female friends, colleagues and who can listen and validate my experience has been invaluable. And BTW, I think men should be encouraged to create safe male spaces in which they can express emotions, find support, and counter toxic masculinity. And if anyone needs a male yoga teacher in the Bay Area who leads men-only retreats, let me know and Iâll introduce you.
SPEAKING OF DESTRUCTIVE SEXISM, regarding the year-ago Kavanaugh confirmation and the surrounding subtly sexist rhetoric: âCalling him a âgood manâ implied that [Christine Blasey] Ford was a liarâthe âbad womanâ opposite this âgood manââwithout having to explicitly say it.âHey, remember Elizabeth Holmes? You know, the lady wunderkind entrepreneur who scammed millions from investors and board members to create a blood testing company valued at $9 billion that didnât actually work and potentially put thousands of lives in danger? Welp, sheâs not paying her attorneys and they no longer want to BE her attorneys as a result.
Ronan Farrow has a new book out on Weinstein, private investigators and how hired operatives tracked reporters to try and squelch the story. Excerpts are being published in the New Yorker this week, and you can start reading âem here. And I do love the URL on this piece:
Iâll see your fabulous selves on Thursday! Be kind to yourselves, and have an easy fast if youâre observing.
xoxo Amy