Call Me When They ASMR Puppy Snores.

Good morning, sweeties. I was awoken today at 4:30 am by [fill in random illogical Amy anxiety here] so I am already chock full of coffee AND existential dread! Woo!

Yesterday, if you tried to log-in to Facebook to send me sweet nothings, or into Instagram to send me pictures of cute dogs, you may have noticed that those fine internet sites just weren’t working. The outage—the longest in the company’s history—was at points rumored to be a DDoS attack, though the company denied it, and may not be over.

And in unrelated (I think?) news to add to this terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day for the social media giant, the New York Times reported that “Federal prosecutors are conducting a criminal investigation into data deals Facebook struck with some of the world’s largest technology companies.” Send some love and healthy snacks to Facebook’s comms teams today, because I am 100 percent sure they haven’t slept.

And speaking of social media managers, can someone send Beto O’Rourke’s social team a case of CBD-infused tonic after the weird non-announcement Vanity Fair cover that was published during the outage? Nothing ruins a much-anticipated presidential campaign launch featuring an Annie Liebowitz-shot cover story quite like having the vast majority of tools of connection, distribution and sentiment tracking being lost to the ether. And yes, Beto is officially running, and yes, he’s still only two years younger than his former senate opponent, which is just too funny for me not to mention every time. And yes on yes again, as pointed out by Meredith Haggerty and many others on Twitter, we are all Beto’s pup on that there VF cover as we head into this 2020 presidential season (namely, HALP.)

And finally, can someone explain ASMR to me, please? Because I guess beer commercials are using it now and I really don’t care for fizzy noises in my headphones. 2019 is strange.

You’re all delightful. Be kind to each other, and to yourselves.

Xoxo Amy