Can We Advertise The COVID Vaccine As BOGO? You Know, Two Doses For The Price Of One? Because Technically That's What They Are And There's Gotta Be A Way To Incentivize Selfish People To Get Them.
Hey there, friends! It’s Tuesday, it’s the 15th of December (a reminder that if you want to ship anything for the holidays, get it out today!) and there are 36 days until President-elect Biden is inaugurated, in case you needed something to look forward to.
LET’S GET TO THE INTERNET, SHALL WE?
The electoral college, in what used to be a ceremonial act that none of us normals gave half a poop about, officially voted and confirmed Joe Biden as the next president of the U.S. yesterday, while a bunch of opponents in Michigan attempted to LARP an alternative result and were prevented from entering the statehouse, live-streaming it for all the world to see. I would very much like to go to sleep and wake up once 2020 is over, kthxbai.
And BuzzFeed News has the only acceptable headline to describe the GOP response to the electoral college result: ‘UNSPEAKABLE BRAVERY: These Senate Republicans Declared Joe Biden May Have Possibly, Technically Won The Election’
But hey, don’t get too comfortable, as Friend of the Missive Zack Shapiro points out in this tweet storm, there’s still plenty we can fret about until Jan 6 when a joint session of Congress has to receive the electoral college vote. Hey Missive law nerds, any color you can add to what he maps out above?
No, I’m not going to link to the WSJ op-ed in which some dude I’ve never heard of calls Dr. Jill Biden “kiddo” and says she shouldn’t be allowed to use “Dr.” in her name because… sexism and grumpy-old-man-get-off-my-lawn-itis? But I will send you on over to Monica Hesse at WaPo highlighting some of the more offensive parts of the piece.
Just gonna plop this magnificent lede here and hope that it has already been optioned by DreamWorks: “A former deep-sea treasure hunter is about to mark his fifth year in jail for refusing to disclose the whereabouts of 500 missing coins made from gold found in a historic shipwreck.”
And finally, OMG THEY SOLVED ONE OF THE ZODIAC CIPHERS AHHHHHHHH. Go nerds, goooooooo!
You’re lovely, you know that? Be kind to each other, and wear that mask, yo!