Clutch Your Pearls My Friends, Ladies Be Makin' Jokes.

All I’m going to say about Michelle Wolf’s amazing set at the White House Correspondents’ dinner is that if the WHCD organizers are so rattled by her set (my word!,) they probably should have watched her stand-up before they booked her. And that if they are so offended by Wolf using the term for female genitals that the current POTUS is *on tape* saying that he grabs without consent, maybe they should ask why they’re holding a comedian to a higher standard than the leader of this country. I think she did a spectacular job as she “blasted open the fictions of journalism in the age of Trump.” And as Seth Meyers said, “YOU HIRED HER.” So yea, I’m with her.

A leggings-based multi-level marketing scheme asks women to drop thousands of dollars to acquire rooms filled with stretchy atheleisure they can’t sell. And now those women are suing.

Can’t tell if you’re too high to drive? There’s an app for that. (But seriously, if you are asking if you’re too high to drive, you’re too high to drive. Go sit in your garden and look at flowers for a few hours.)

If you think you were rebellious in school, I can tell you you were no California college Republican in 2018. So grab yourself an instagrammable weapon and MAGA hat and get yourself a selfie with Milo if you wanna be cool.

And finally, Bill Cosby will be going to jail. Good.