Happy Friday! As I race around like an artisanal chicken lacking a head or a sense of place in the universe, here’s some stuff to read while you’re watching the clock until 5 pm:

'Apprentice' alums denounce Donald Trump (CNN)

House Republicans deadlocked over spending will miss budget deadline, dealing a blow to Ryan (Washington Post)

PSSSSSST: Is that at the sound of a leak in the bubble? Beacon, the all-you-can-fly travel startup, closes shop and Shuddle, the Uber-like service for getting your kids around, is shutting down tomorrow (both TechCrunch)
Customer Injured in Drunken Fistfight at Katz's Deli, Police Say (DNAInfo NYC)

And finally, It’s all fun and games until you get arrested after using fart spray at a bar (Washington Post)