Happiest of Tuesdays, sweethearts! I hope you’re staying warm, getting psyched for whatever holiday you’re celebrating, and adding this t-shirt with Justin Trudeau riding a horse in front of a waterfall to the winter solstice gift basket you’re creating for me - you are creating a gift basket for me, are you not?

Feel like calling Trump a Nazi, or invoking Godwin’s law when someone else does? Here’s Mike Godwin telling everyone to do your damned homework first if you’re going to throw that language around.

Thanks to friend of the newsletter Greg for sharing this perfect New Yorker cartoon this morning

And in other Sad Panda Cruz moments, Mandy Patinkin, musical theater legend, and originator of Princess Bride’s famous “You Killed My Father” line that Ted Cruz likes to quote, called Cruz out on his use of the material. And if you think about it, it’s doubly hard on Cruz, since Patinkin starred in one of his very favorite shows, Criminal Minds, well documented in this newsletter. CRUZCEPTION.

Today, in topics you didn’t need; online hoverboard sales are plagued by fraud, even when said hover boards are sold by the illustrious Soulja Boy, who is now in a flame war with the author of the piece above. As always, we turn to The Daily Show’s Jessica Williams for a reminder that THOSE AREN’T HOVERBOARDS, THEY CAN’T EVEN FLY.

Today's Mum-missive:
Having watched the three original Star Wars films this weekend (the despecialized versions, thanks to one awesome brother-in-law,) here’s an astronaut explaining all the ways our bodies can destroy themselves in space.

Context-free headline: Why Millennials Don't Want To Work For You

Serious Eats makes The Case for Bad Coffee - namely diner coffee, cheap coffee, familiar coffee, not-Philz coffee. Author Keith Pandolfi sums it up perfectly (and forgive me, Katelyn and Colin:) "Bad coffee is there for you. It is bottomless. It is perfect."

And finally, Jojo, the Contra Costa courthouse dog, continues her tour of world domination with a profile in the Contra Costa Times. WHO’S A GOOD GIRL JOJO, WHO’S A GOOD GIRL.

Toodles!