Inescapable Alerts, Getting that $$$, Pirate Husbands.

DARLINGS! I hope you’re rested and well-fed and taking care of yourself. Has anyone told you you look great today? Because you do.

• Amazon has announced the finalist cities for its second HQ, and Calgary isn’t one of them, and that is some BS right there, because Calgary said they’d fight bears and I want to see a city fight an animal for a corporation. Because I know the next great dystopian novel when I see it.

• Ellen Pompeo, character namesake and star of endless medical drama Grey’s Anatomy, is a badass, self-aware bitch who takes no shit and I am no obsessed with her. In a remarkably - and refreshingly - candid interview with The Hollywood Reporter, Pompeo talks about how she negotiated $575,000 an episode, plus producer credit, plus backend point, plus plus plus. It’s an amazing reflection on Hollywood, gender, aging, power and getting paid. Choice quote: “When your face and your voice have been part of something that's generated $3 billion for one of the biggest corporations in the world, you start to feel like, "OK, maybe I do deserve a piece of this.””

• There’s another split-up-California movement. All I can say is, don’t talk to me until we have a State of Jefferson.

• Today, in not-great tech: Now your nightlight can notify you of retweets and emails.

• And finally, we’ve all been here, amiright? Woman fed up with searching for perfect man marries GHOST of 300-year-old pirate

SMOOOOOOOOCHES!