International Competition Means I Suddenly Care About Sports, and Other Magical Tales.

Morning, poppets! I write to you once again from the great white north, where I fully intend to get to the bottom of why legendary Canadian lovers - I mean, gold medal-winning ice dancers - Virtue and Moir are not dating.

Not to be a hipster, but I took curling lessons waaaaaay before any of y’all discovered how weirdly enthralling it is to watch. Congrats to Alberta’s own - and members of Calgary's Glencoe Club! - Kaitlyn Lawes and John Morris who won the inaugural gold medal in mixed doubles curling.

And lest you think I’m suddenly abandoning my adopted country, I’m full on in love with halfpipe gold medalist Chloe Kim. Not only is her family goddamned adorable, girl was blasting Lady Gaga’s Paparazzi from her earbuds before her run. I love her.

In other, far less sporty news:

See ya tomorrow, ya filthy animals.