It’s the Freakin’ (President’s Day) Weekend.

My poppets, I hope you have a lovely holiday weekend planned, filled with friends, good cheer, and social media feeds free of Russian bots. Just turn off those phones, folks. And as the popular internet parlance goes, “Never tweet.”

Also, per usual, if you like what you're reading, why don't you forward this humble newsletter to someone else interested in puns with their morning espresso? Just share via however you connect with the outside world. I promise I'll take good care of them ;)

By the way, Bigfoot hunters - yes, that is a thing - are suing the state of California for denying the existence of Sasquatch. The Oregonian is allllll over it.

This week, in sassy judges: Judge Michael W Fitzgerald ruled against songwriters Sean Hall and Nathan Butler, who had sued our dear T Swift for allegedly stealing the chorus of Shake It Off. You know, the one that talks about players playing and haters hating. The judge was like “um, no, you can’t claim you’re the first person to use that hackneyed phrasing,” <— silly paraphrase and told them to GTFO, because the lyrics were “banal” <— ACTUAL STATEMENT FROM REAL JUDGE. H/t to Stefana for that delightful tidbit.

And your facepalm headline of the day: Scott Pruitt Has to Fly First Class Because Coach Is “Politically Toxic.”

Love you all :) See you on Tuesday.