Just Say No To Frosted Tips, And Other Late 90s Lessons For The Apocalypse
|May 1, 2019|
Darlings, IT’S MY BIRTHDAY MONTH! And if you think that just because I’m turning 35 I’ll somehow “mature” and “realize there’s no such thing as a birthday month,” you’re dead wrong.
Hey friends, do you need a reason to scream into the void this morning? Of course you do! Because yesterday we learned that special counsel Mueller wrote a letter to Attorney General Barr that Barr’s memo to Congress “did not fully capture the context, nature, and substance” of Mueller’s report on Russian interference in the 2016 election. COOLCOOLCOOLCOOLCOOL. Also, House Democrats are saying that Mueller is willing to testify, but Trump’s DoJ is stalling/stonewalling.
Consider me a part of the group referenced below that thinks forcing employees to share a hotel room on a work trip is inappropriate and insane; Let Sleeping Co-Workers Lie: Companies shouldn’t make their employees share hotel rooms on business trips. Work trips for me typically involve long days, so the mere idea that I couldn’t come back, turn the AC down to 68 degree, conduct my witchcraft, have a bath, plot to take over the world, and then go to bed with nary a care for my tremendous amount of toiletries in the bathroom raises my blood pressure.
I am HERE for snuffing out negging-as-courtship from childhood: “If we tell our children that their soulmates might be unkind at first, if we accept light malice as a prelude to romance, what are we setting them up for? So many beloved stories are rooted in the idea that people who are destined for one another begin by disliking each other.” Love, a little girl who got in a lot of trouble for punching a kid who flipped up her skirt in Grade 1.
Thank you BuzzFeed News for asking real questions candidates for president: We Asked All Of The 2020 Presidential Candidates Their Thoughts On Vaccines. Here's What They Said.
Ya’ll already know that McSweeney’s can do no wrong: Why I’m Leaving Marvel Universe’s New York. Snort quote: “Imagine if I tried to get out a parking ticket by saying Ebony Maw mind-controlled me into taking up a handicapped space! You don’t have to imagine — I tried it and it did not work.” (and no spoilers darlings, I just finished watching Infinity War last night, and I can’t believe I didn’t know that the thing that happened happened. Brutal!)
Finally, never forget, my doves*. And be kind to each other.
(And yes, that song still slaps ;) )