Life Crush Friday: Oh, Canada!

Morning, y’all! First off, I wrote a thing on how organizations can avoid sinking to the depths of the rhetoric of this vulgar presidential debate, so go read it. It came out of a discussion I had where we pondered how anyone could hypothetically trump (#sorrynotsorry) these ludicrous news cycles. Then I realized that despite my profession’s sometimes-earned reputation, I won’t shill for the devil 😉 So read it, and share!

But curb that cynicism, CANADIAN ALERT! Let me take a moment and freak out over my two countries coming together beautifully in Washington this week. Canadian Prime Minister (and "IRL Disney Prince") Justin Trudeau and his family visited for a State Dinner, the first official visit from a Canadian Prime Minister in 19 years. If you need a primer on Prime Minister Dreamy, I’ll wait.

And let me drop any pretense of cool because OMG EEEEEEK IT LOOKED AMAZING! I’m at a loss, every captured moment looked like both Justin and Barack were having SO much fun, and Sophie and Michelle were stylish badasses rolling their eyes at their husbands blossoming bromance and ugh I can’t even, it was absolutely perfect and gave me all the feels.

I named this image SLAY.

In Obama’s toast, he actually said this: "We intend to have fun tonight. But not too much. (Laughter.) If things get out of hand, remember that the Prime Minister used to work as a bouncer. (Laughter.) Truly. (Laughter.)”, as well as joking he was going to bring a two-four (ask your nearest Canadian friend.) Obama even brought out the sick Cruz burns with "After all, where else could a boy born in Calgary grow up to run for President of the United States?"

In Trudeau’s remarks, he quoted Truman’s address to Parliament 70 years ago, saying that "Canada’s relationship with the United States “did not develop spontaneously, did not come about merely through the happy circumstance of geography, but was compounded of one part proximity and nine parts goodwill and common sense.”” And in discussing Justin Bieber, Trudeau said "Of course, leave it to a Canadians to reach international fame with a song called “Sorry.”"

And speaking of apologies, sorry for dwelling on this, but to see these two men be all that I respect about the relationship between my homeland and my adopted country is really very touching.

NON-CANADIAN NEWS, submitted by you, much beloved readers of the Missive,

Unlucky Lawmakers Get Sick After Drinking Raw Milk to Celebrate Legalization of Raw Milk and nope, nothing to see here, not related nope nope nope. To supplement, I insist you read Albert Burneko’s Raw Milk Is For Idiots, where he says "many readers will dismiss anti-gastroenteritis arguments out of hand. Those readers—whom we love—are stupid.” Thanks Katelyn for alerting me to this madness.

And we have our first scholarly submission to the Missive! Shmuel Link, PhD and Jewish 007, discovered a paper that may change how you feel about fancy french food - he even included a selection for our consideration! Entitled Can People Distinguish Pâté from Dog Food?, it includes (emphasis Schmuel):

To prevent bias, Newman's Own dog food was prepared with a food processor to have the texture and appearance of a liver mousse. In a double-blind test, subjects were presented with five unlabeled blended meat products, one of which was the prepared dog food. After ranking the samples on the basis of taste, subjects were challenged to identify which of the five was dog food. Although 72% of subjects ranked the dog food as the worst of the five samples in terms of taste (Newell and MacFarlane multiple comparison, P<0.05), subjects were not better than random at correctly identifying the dog food.

My dogs agree. THANKS FOR THAT SHMUEL. Hope you already had breakfast, and have a fantastic weekend!

All Trudeau visit photos from PM Trudeau's twitter account.