So while I’ve been up in Canada, getting extra familiar with the fantastic Foothills Hospital Cardiac ICU (hi Dad!!,) I haven’t been nearly as on top of my random news as I ought to be, dear reader. Luckily, I’m back on the digital horse.

• Over at Vanity Fair, Emily Chang delves into the world of Silicon Valley’s “exclusive, drug-fueled, sex-laced parties.” And no, I’ve never been invited to one. I don’t think?

• Trump is the first pet-less president since TJ, and seemingly doesn’t understand how dogs work, in that dogs are the greatest and we don’t deserve them.

• You can take my TinyLetter when you pry it out of my cold, typing hands. Because I’m in Canada, and it is cold.

• A BBC reporter was trying to capture a lighthearted, happy story at the zoo. And he would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for those pesky lemurs.

• Yes, Chuck E. Cheese has a corporate policy for destroying the heads of their characters, why do you ask?

• And ClickHole asks the tough questions: Can You Handle This Grouse Marathon? (sound on, darlings.)

Toodles, my loves!