Millennials, Is Disney Coming For Your Best Childhood Memories? The Signs Say Yes.
|Mar 12, 2019|
My doves, if you’re like me and spent the last ten minutes watching the first full-length trailer for Disney’s live Aladdin reboot, and finding yourself getting goosebumps despite how badly you expected you would hate it, but you didn’t… welp, I got nothing for ya. Just keep swimming (but don’t you DARE make a live action Finding Nemo, you Mickey Mouse monsters!)
TO THE INTERNET
Did you know that you can spit into a tube, send that spit away in the mail, and then get a 19-page “Cannabis Health Report” with strain recommendations for your very personal genetic make-up? Yay, progress!
And just FYI as readers of this here Missive, before you even think about shipping money off to a most-certainly-not-a-narc DNA testing company, you are required to remember that right now, in the year of our spaghetti monster 2019, party guests in Georgia are suing over MASS ARRESTS that occurred after LESS THAN AN OUNCE OF CANNABIS was found. That’s right, over sixty (60!!!) people were arrested and charged with possessing far less weed than any San Franciscan can trip over on their way to work. And while these charges were dropped, the damage was done: some of the partygoers had their mugshots posted online and featured on the local news, which cost them their jobs.
As certain Trump apologists feign offense and claim that Democrats are anti-Semitic, Josh Marshall over at TPM pulled together Trump’s Epic History of Coddling, Promoting and Refusing to Denounce Anti-Semitism. You know, in case you needed a reminder.
And finally, may we all aspire to be an iota as badass as Freddie Oversteegen who in WWII joined the Dutch resistance and “blew up bridges and railway tracks with dynamite, smuggled Jewish children out of concentration camps and executed as many Nazis as she could, using a firearm hidden in the basket of her bike.” Her and her compatriots would “first approach the Nazi men in bars, and, having successfully seduced them, ask if they wanted to 'go for a stroll' in the forest,” and then kill them. May her memory be a blessing.
You’re delightful. Be kind to each other.