Moonbeams, Millennial Habits, and Lazy-Ass Fish.

Someone asked me what I learned this weekend while communing with the central coast, and I was able to report three things. First, having no access to cell service or wifi feels naughty and indulgent (nerd alert); second, despite being a professional extrovert, I get severe social anxiety when embarking on a new adventure on my own; and third, raccoons will ever so casually lean next to a waste bin you’ve left outside your door and snack on kleenex like oh so many samples at Costco.

But don’t worry darlings, I’ve returned to the land of the online, and that glow of self-realization and reborn faith in humanity has oh so certainly worn off, thank you very much. Let’s do this!

Based on his rate of overshare, Texas Democrat and candidate for Ted Cruz’s Senate seat Beto O’Rourke feels like the first real millennial candidate, even though he’s a full decade into Gen X. And it’s paying off.

“Fish, as most reasonable people will agree, are gross and for too long have hogged the aquatic real estate in our nation’s waterways. We’ve waited patiently for them to develop feet and lungs and join the rest of us, but it’s clear they’re too lazy to lift themselves up by the fin-straps and evolve.” Thank you Rex Huppke for this goddamned delightful piece on EPA Chief Scott Pruitt.

According to a statement, Homeland Security is hiring a consultant to compile a list of journalist and blogger “media influencers”, including ratings on a publication’s “sentiment.” So here’s the thing: what this statement is asking for is what any comms shop does on a daily basis for their clients, based on publicly available profiles and published articles. So in any other administration, this might not raise red flags. But in a free press-hating admin like this, with leaders who don’t seem to care too much for “norms” and “laws” and “decency” while having access to the national spy apparatus, this takes on super Orwellian connotations.

And finally, as a mostly cheerful person who seems to shock people when I’m not 100% sparkles and moonbeams, I adore Anne T. Donahue’s sentiment “On Why Positivity Can Go F-ck Itself“: “There’s safety in realizing you can dive into the darkest parts of yourself and sit with them and accept that they’re as important as the driven, motivated, glamorous parts.”

Namaste, my dearests. See you tomorrow.