Happiest of Thursdays, my darlings. There’s stuff! Happening! In! The! World!

• The incoming White House press secretary wakes up in the morning and checks his boss’s tweets because they drive the news cycle, and because Sean Spicer doesn’t know what they will say. Great.

• And speaking of shitstorms, the San Francisco Hall of Justice is enduring a literal poopocalypse right now, as sewage from the jail rains down on the District Attorney office below. And in case you thought it might not impact you, I wonder how you’ll feel when you’re called for jury duty or have to pay a traffic ticket, because YEA that's the same building.

• A new Congressman’s teenage child “dabbed” in the official swearing-in photo, and Paul Ryan was perplexed, asking said little shit if he had to sneeze. And if you got initially inordinately excited for this scandal because you assumed the story was referring to the cannabis consumption method, you may be over the age of 30 and living in the Bay Area. (thx Katelyn!)

• Amazon to open brick-and-mortar bookstore in Manhattan, Columbus Circle to be precise.

• And finally, my super-smart and delightfully nerdy aunts emailed around, The 58 most commonly misused words and phrases, with my Aunt Kacky calling it bathtime reading. I do not disagree, I write as I gaze lovingly at my copy of the Thesaurus for Thinkers.

I adore you all,

Amy