Morning Word Nerdery (Wordery?), And Other Distractions From Our Impending Mortality.
Poppets! Did you know a group of alligators is called a congregation? A group of ferrets is a business? And a group of buffalo is an obstinacy? Yes, these are the things I absolutely must google immediately after I wake up at 5:15 am. YOU’RE WELCOME.
Elizabeth Warren has created an exploratory committee for a 2020 presidential run, and the media is already asking if she’s likable enough. So of course McSweeney’s is allllll over it with I Don’t Hate Women Candidates — I Just Hated Hillary And Coincidentally I’m Starting To Hate Elizabeth Warren. The *chef’s kiss* moment of the entire piece is “I always tell my daughters they can be anything they want, so long as they don’t make other people feel uncomfortable. They can be as ambitious as they want, so long as they do it in an acceptable manner.” McSweeney's, I feel seen.
As this Washington Post article leads with, “The government shutdown has left America’s national parks largely unsupervised,” due to contingency plans adopted by the park service last year, leaving the parks open but no one there to care for them. This means that rangers are not present, campgrounds and bathrooms aren’t maintained, and people are fucking with Joshua Trees, which makes me SO ANGRY I CAN’T EVEN HANDLE IT. But God bless the locals and business owners who are volunteering their time to pick up litter and care for the parks, that’s some Mister Rogers-level goodness right there.
Meanwhile, the Clock Tower in Trump’s hotel in Washington, which is a part of the Parks system, will be reopening for hotel guests because of course it is. COOLCOOLCOOLCOOLCOOL.
And finally, we’ve found the perfect, most pure crime ever committed: Drunk man in Wisconsin goes into wrong house, sleeps on dog bed with 150 pound Mastiff.
If you’ve made it this far, do you have any healthy habits you are cultivating in the New Year? I have three daily ones I’m working on: drinking more water, doing yoga, and playing guitar for ten minutes. I'm telling you as a form of accountability: what are yours?
As always, be kind to each other. And yourselves.