My sweet ones! Happy (checks calendar, confirms day of the week, stares off into the middle distance) THURSDAY!

A quick heads up! I’m heading to England next week for a wedding, and will be on vacation from Tuesday through Tuesday. While I may write a Missive or two, they won’t be in the morning, and I can’t guarantee that they won’t solely focus on the joys of eating British cookies straight from the tin. But don’t worry, I’ll return the week after, and I imagine I’ll have even more awkward spellings and grammar structures than I normally (unintentionally) do.

TO THE INTERNETZ!

• As a group of my close girlfriends know, there is only one canned sparkling water we entertain. We do not drink the other sparkling waters. The other sparkling waters are putrid carbonated swill compared to ours, the one true sparkling water: The meteoric rise of Waterloo Sparkling Water: 'We have a better tasting product, hands down...'

• Snarky Owen Thomas coming for your BS marketing speak by quoting Mean Girls in his headline is the best Owen Thomas: “Stop trying to make ‘fintech’ happen, Gretchen. It’s not going to happen”

• The Guardian does not have time for any hissy fits over the leaked “unflattering assessments” of POTUS by the UK Ambassador: “Indeed, the ambassador’s verdict of a dysfunctional, faction-riven and inept White House is not only blindingly obvious to any observer but looks decidedly diplomatic when set beside some of the accounts which have emerged from the leaky Trump administration itself.”

• So what science is telling me is that I can avoid wearing infinitely-and-inevitably-stainable white clothing in the summer by cloaking myself in Beduin-style black robes? CHECK AND CHECK, MY FRIENDS: Should You Wear White Or Black On Hot Days? Here's The Data

• As an American-by-choice, I was consistently nodding along to this piece on “American Values”: Tucker Carlson Has Failed to Assimilate.

Oh hey, you know you’re lovely, right? Be kind to each other.

Xoxo Amy