Office Pastries Are A Girl's Best Frenemy, And Other Not-Great Folk Songs

Sweethearts! Happy Day-Before-Trump’s-Military-Parade-Paid-For-By-The-National-Parks,-Because-Ok-It’s-Not-Like-That’s-A-Taxpayer-And-Entrants-To-These-Natural-And-Historical-Wonders-Paid-For-Cost,-Oh-Wait-It-Totally-Is-I’m-Sorry-What-Was-I-Saying? Sigh. Remember in 2016 how we were told we were being hysterical about his authoritarian tendencies, and if you brought up incarceration or deportation of migrants, you were told you were over-reacting? That was a fun age, wasn’t it?

  • First off, a correction: John Bolton is not the US Secretary of State, he is the National Security Advisor. Bolton was Undersecretary of State and an Ambassador to the UN under W. Bush. Many thanks to Aaron for very politely pointing it out, and assuming I’d already noticed the error. The contract research lemurs have been disciplined.

  • Today, in “Oh, you don’t say?”: New study shows Russian propaganda may really have helped Trump.

  • Over at Bon Appetit, Lauren Larson is doing the Lord’s work: I Wish We Could Stop Freaking Out About Office Treats. Her description of how women tend to mumble an explanation/excuse as they grab a croissant is a scarily accurate take on how I joke off the fact I’m alway the first in the office to partake in office snacks. There’s an internalized guilt in being the one who unabashedly enjoys baked goods, especially when one is someone like me who has a history of disordered eating. But I don’t want to make TOO big of a deal, because being worried about one’s weight shows that you care too much about, I dunno, stuff. So Larson sums the female quandary up beautifully: “That I can feel bad for ordering an arm-sized burrito (too many calories) and for ordering a lil salad (too few Cool Girl points) is proof of the twisted logic inseminated in me by the patriarchy.”

  • All, I request that you now ask yourself the most important question you’ve asked yourselves in years: “What Happened to the Bygone Pastime of Guys Quoting 'Anchorman’?” My wee corrections to this otherwise delightful piece on how repeating lines from Judd Apatow movies were how us mid-aughts college students flirted with each other is that some young women also quoted Anchorman (and Caddyshack, and The Simpsons), and that some of us still do so, on the regular. At length. (this is why I’m single, folks.)

Darlings, you’re great. Be kind to each other.

Xoxo Amy