Orca Would Like You To Know That She Ripped Two Arms Off Her New Stuffed Lobster In About 20 Minutes, And She Trusts You Understand How Impressive That is.
Darlings! Happy Monday, again! Apologies for the lack of Missives, I’ve been working from the Midwest for the past week (did you know there are over 6,000 shipwrecks in the Great Lakes?!?!) and between getting B concourse and F concourse mixed up at ORD at the top of the trip (nothing like sprinting through an airport with a dog in a backpack as your connecting flight boards!), the beautiful but cold rain/snow that is confusing my delicate Californian sensibilities and the time zone change, I’ve been all sorts of discombobulated. But worry not, dear reader, I’m still doomscrolling the internet and finding weird and wonderful gems so you don’t have to!
TO THE INTERNET!
If you read one thing today, let it be this January piece on those very expensive cartoons of apes and their ilk that you’ve seen all over the internet, which does a great job of encapsulating why I hate the entire graphic “ownership” gold rush right now: The Worrisome Rise of NFTs (Nautilus, h/t Friend of the Missive Daniel)
Today I learned: 1) That a hyperparasite is a parasite that lives on (or in!) a parasite (a reminder you should all go read Matt Simon’s “Plight of the Living Dead” ASAP) and 2) there is an eastern Atlantic fish called a Boops boops
This is bonkers (from 2018, but still fascinating): “Hitler pulled from Germanic folklore and occult legends to supplement Nazi pageantry. High-level Nazis researched everything from the Holy Grail to witchcraft… Among those mythological fascinations were werewolves.” The Nazi Werewolves Who Terrorized Allied Soldiers at the End of WWII (Smithsonian Magazine)
Break out your skinny jeans, emo side part and a Great Recession, it’s 2008 all over again! Palin’s unexpected bid jolts Alaska (POLITICO). And yes, 2008 was nearly 5,000 days ago, so time lacks all meaning at this point.
I am SO done with these GOP senators who make a point to go on TV to celebrate how historic Ketanji Brown Jackson’s appointment to the Supreme Court will be so they can, at some point, be quoted somewhere for their democratic ideals, only to turn around and say they aren’t voting for her (sigh). Looking at you Sen. Blunt (and come on, Sen. Romney! Crossing my fingers he joins Sen. Collins in voting for her).
And finally, I have been personally attacked by this piece of satire, especially since the Starry Night silk scarf I got the Mum of the Missive for Christmas is really lovely (bah humbug): I’m Vincent Van Gogh, And I Painted That Way Because I Knew It Would Look Really Sweet On A Mousepad. (McSweeney’s)
Have a lovely day, my sweets. Drink some water (which I have bene derelict in doing, so remember that these reminders are as much for me as for you!), get outside for a bit, and be kind to yourself, won’t you?
xoxo Amy