"Overlords and Oligarchs" Is The Worst Board Game Ever.

My sweethearts, I hope your weekend treated you well, that you’re bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and ready to smash hate wherever you see it. Or at least, if you’re eligible, you’re getting ready to vote in the biggest primary day of 2018. So if you’re in California, Iowa, Montana, New Jersey, or New Mexico FIND YER POLLING PLACE, MY LOVES, democracy is counting on you!

Folks, you know I rarely if ever discuss sporting events, unless they involve blades on feet or fancy Olympic uniforms. But if you read one sports ball-related article today, let it be Ed Zitron’s recap of sitting in the ass-pensive seats at Warrior’s arena for Game 1 of the NBA finals, wherein he watches the game with the “overlords and oligarchs in Club Prick.”

Evangelist Franklin Graham came to the pagan cesspool that is Berkeley (Hi Mom!) on Friday and said that God has not, in fact, forsaken the city. Sweet!

I still cannot put into words why the faux-outrage around Sam Bee’s use of the C word to attack Ivanka Trump’s complicity in this administration makes my blood boil so. So instead, I’ll have the amazing at Rebecca Traister walk ya through it. From that tweetstorm, I recommend the piece she wrote for The Cut (h/t Stefana.)

While we’re on tweetstorms, let Matthew Chapman guide you through Trump’s approach to economics. Spoiler alert: he’s a con man who believes that if he’s not screwing people over, he’s getting screwed. And therefore, we are all royally screwed.

2018 in one insane headline: “Trump’s Loudest Anti-Muslim Twitter Troll Is A Shady Vegan Married To An (Ousted) WWE Exec

And finally, Alexandra Petri is the humor writer we need right now: Jeff Sessions no longer sparks joy.