The only news you need today is that someone had the genius foresight to greenlight a live-action movie entitled Pokemon: Detective Pikachu based on a well-liked game I didn’t know existed. Now normally, y’all know I probably wouldn’t comment on this, mostly because I know next to nothing about Pokemon other than the great urban scurge that has been the handheld AR game (see: Study Estimates That Pokémon GO Has Caused More Than 100,000 Traffic Accidents.)
But then some goddamned genius decided to throw as much money as possible at my spiritual soulmate Ryan Reynolds so that he could improbably voice the electric canary rodent. So you’d better believe I’m excited to spend money on a child’s movie to solely listen to the voice of an actor I’ve adored since Two Guys, A Girl, and a Pizza Place, a lovable sitcom that premiered in 1998 and ran 81 episodes (in which Nathan Filion appeared in 60 episodes, WHAT!?!?) and Van Wilder, a lovable but DEEPLY problematic-in-retrospect frat boy comedy which came out my senior year in high school and should probably be something I discuss in therapy by this point.
Anyhoo, if you’re one of my new subscribers expecting high-minded discussions of tech policy, I’m sorry? See ya tomorrow?
Be kind to each other