Praise Hand Emojis, and Other Things The Kids Type

My dearests, I write to you once again from Washington D.C., where I am happy to report that the trees are blossoming, the interns are scampering and the Capitol is still standing.

I’ve been challenged as of late to write this Missive, mostly due to my own concerns as to whether or not I have anything of worth to add as the world burns around us. But then a dear friend said that she reads it even when it’s a jumbled list of links, and I thought, hey. I can share jumbled lists of links with the world.

So here we go

Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, who has long been one of my favorites, enjoys a lengthy profile in New York Magazine. And though I love her because she admits she sharply changed her tune on gun control and immigration - for the better, in my opinion - I love her most because she seems to drop the f-bomb as much as I fucking do. She’s quoted as saying “... we’re here to help people, and if we’re not helping people, we should go the fuck home.” PRAISE HANDS EMOJI FIRE EMOJI PRAISE HANDS EMOJI

And in comically insecure POTUSland, according to Page Six the official white house photographer carries a stool around to ensure she is always shooting him from above, so as to make him appear "appear slimmer and taller.” Not to pull this card per usual, but could you imagine the firestorm that would happen if President Hillz had requested the same thing? Oy.

Oh, and isn’t it delightfully ironic that Trump declared April to be Sexual Assault Awareness month? So delightfully ironic, I want to sell my belongings for barter-able cans of soup and move underground. Well, Vice did a stellar job of rounding up most of the reactions from advocacy orgs. Spoiler alert: it contains a lot of sentiments like "his rhetoric on the campaign trail, as president, as well as the actions (or, rather, inactions) of his appointees, directly invalidate the experiences of survivors of gender based violence” from End Rape on Campus.

What happens when we evolve past the smart phone, and suddenly THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE YOUR HEAD?

And finally, all hail the ‘Grammar Vigilante,” aka The “Banksy of punctuation,” whose NPR profile caps off with the stellar You either die an apostrophizer, or you live long enough to see yourself be apostrophized.

Yours in #nerdalerts,