PSA: The Missive Does Not Tolerate Juvenile Race Horse Names.

Lovely humans! I hope you got your butts to the polls yesterday if your state was one of the ones participating, especially since there is literally nothing sexier than exercising your democratic muscle to attempt to lift us out of this current political Cross Fit Games, aww crap lost the metaphor WHATEVER I hope you voted. And if you were one of the estimated 120,000 people left off voter lists in Los Angeles, just know that you’re holding great company with The Fonz.

Paul Manafort tried to hide from the feds using encrypted WhatsApp—but forgot about iCloud. Don’t forget my darlings: even if you do your best to distract, lie, or otherwise obfuscate bad behavior, the cloud is ALWAYS gonna get ya.

As a business traveler, I always think about what I could do to create my own personal bubble whilst at the airport or in transit. What methods could I employ to ensure that no one gets up in my grill while waiting for a delayed plane to board, or how can I prevent them from standing much too close on a relatively empty BART train? And BuzzFeed has the answer: luggage with my face printed on it. Because nothing says “go the fuck away” like a wheeled bag that stares directly into your soul.

Friend of the Missive Colin wanted all of you to know that a winner of a race of horses was named Bofa Deez Nutz. And I want you all to know that I do not tolerate juvenile humor making its way into a sport in which the equine competitors can be named Bunny Killer, Wotsit or Horsey McHorseFace. Yes, I Googled “funny race horse names” and yes, the UK publication Horse & Hound did NOT disappoint me.

Finally, in very sad news, designer Kate Spade was found dead of apparent suicide yesterday. All, please remember: if you ever need help, talk to someone you love, or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

And be kind to each other, my loves.