Darlings! It’s (almost) the freaking weekend, so time to load up those Instapapers up and get yer longread on!

(Editor's note: I had a really adorable Walrus gif to put here, but I fought with getting the image in and decided my energy was better spent making coffee.)

Max Adler, For Valentino Dixon, a wrong righted (Golfworld) - I’m pretty terrible at the smallest of sportsballs—though really, isn’t it more of a gamesball? come at me Mum and Dad—but this story of an imprisoned man who’d never set foot on one but sent his meticulous golf course drawings to a Golf Digest reporter, who then discovered he’d been wrongly convicted and fought for his release, hits me straight in the feels. The artist’s name is Valentino Dixon, and he said that creating his thousands of “meticulously detailed golf-scapes” were a way for him to remain calm behind bars. It’s a tragic story with a rare hopeful ending.

Shannon Keating, We Prioritize Boys' Suffering At Girls' Expense (BuzzFeedNews) - I really needed to read this take on the Kavanaugh shitshow, which focuses on the myriad of ways young girls are trained to worry about the emotional wellbeing of men and boys, even at the expense of their own autonomy and wellbeing, and how we as a society pull out our hair over how sexual harassment and assault accusations could potentially ruin the lives of those accused while conveniently forgetting the ruined potential of those harassed ad assaulted.

Alexandra Petri, Every man should be worried. At least, I’m worried. (Washington Post) - And if you some satire to wash down that sadness bile, Petri at WaPo once again has your back. Then read her hilarious I am a horse. I know horseplay. That’s not what this is. and her devastating Some interpersonal verbs, conjugated by gender. JUST READ ALEXANDRA PETRI EVERY DAMNED DAY, MMMKAY, HAVE I TAUGHT YOU NOTHING OVER THE PAST THREE YEARS OF MORNING EMAILZZZ?

Alia Wong, Why Schools Are Banning Yoga (The Atlantic) - As someone who’s spoken publicly about how important yoga was when I quit drinking, reading about how yoga classes are being removed from public schools “on the grounds that they promoted a non-Christian belief system” makes me very quickly forget my calming pranayama exercises and want to toss something out a window (forever a student, amirite?) But then Wong’s article mentions that “The most vocal opponents tend to cite yoga’s Hindu and Buddhist roots, arguing that the line between those origins and secular practices is often blurry,” which I know to be accurate, considering that so much of the practice at times plainly wears its religious accoutrement, and I consider how much I dislike forced religion in public schools, and how I must be a hypocrite if I’m only in favor of religion-influenced practices that work with what I believe in. But then I remember how some of these same school systems are STILL banning sex ed beyond abstinence-only and insisting upon the teaching of intelligent design in science classes, and my righteous blood pressure rises again, and I encourage you to donate to the Southern California school board campaign of my friend Christina who is running on a pro-sex ed platform against an alleged Hitler apologist . Which is all to say, I really need to get my ass on the mat more, lest I need to namaste away from polite society. (Thank you, I’ll be here most weekday mornings.)

Jack Hauen and Emerald Bensdoun, Raccoons bust into Toronto woman’s home, stare her down while defiantly eating her bread (Toronto Star) - To this I say, IT ME.

and finally,

Hillary Clinton, American Democracy Is in Crisis (The Atlantic) - I haven’t been able to read this yet, because every time I get started, I get upset. But maybe this weekend? We’ll see.

Be kind to each other. And be kind to yourself, ok?

xoxo Amy