Send Your Favorite Holiday Cookie Recipes, I Wanna Be 95% Butter By The Time I Head Back To SF After Christmas.
Lovelies! Today is the shortest day of the year, wherein our North Pole leans the furthest distance away from the sun—not unlike me trying to shuffle away from the performatively unmasked jerk I saw at Costco a couple of days ago—and we observe the Winter Solstice. In Calgary, the sun will rise at 8:37 a.m. and set at 4:31 p.m., so if you’re out there feeling SAD like whoa, know you’re not the only one - at least the days only get longer from here! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be wrapping myself in the comfiest of blankets for my work calls today and checking whether it’s a bones or no bones day (because I think we can all agree it was a no bones year).
LET’S DO THIS
Get boosted, double mask up, stay safe: Omicron sweeps across nation, now 73% of new US COVID cases (Associated Press)
Sometimes, a headline is just too perfect: Anti-5G necklaces found to be radioactive (BBC)
I’m sorry, what? Alex Jones sues Jan. 6 committee, indicates plan to plead the Fifth (POLITICO)
I love this listicle, and I especially love it because BuzzFeed used it as an excuse to highlight their own batshit addendums: 22 Of The Best News Corrections In 2021.
From 2004 through its post-Hogan demise, I consumed Gawker every day with the voraciousness of a starved hippo, so much so that even after the site was pulled, I caught myself mindlessly entering the URL into my browser whenever I opened it. So I am HERE for the manic, chaotic energy of this latest iteration: The Biggest Losers Of 2021.
And finally, this is some UNHINGED McSweeney’s and I shouldn’t be laughing this hard at it: The Nutcracker Came To Life And Is Using Dad’s Razor.
You’re swell. Be kind to yourself, fill up that water bottle, and enjoy the limited amount of daylight we have today.