State of the Union: Polkaroo's Revenge

Last night was Obama’s State of the Union, and while I appreciate his opportunity to take a victory lap while looking down upon the general cluster that is the current primary season, it wasn’t my favorite Barack jam. The presidential stock photo powerpoint presentation put me off so much so that I checked twitter to make sure YouTube wasn’t punking me. Not that the supplemental slides were a new thing, but since it was my first time watching it solely on the White House YouTube feed, it threw me off. That being said, it’s pretty damned cool I was able to start SOTU on my phone on the train home, and seamlessly move to my computer as I cooked dinner while referencing the full text distributed beforehand. WE’RE IN THE FUTURE PEOPLE. More highlights tomorrow.

Oh, and hetero marriage-defending, Huckabee-loving, fundamentalist-mullet coifed Kim Davis was there, for some reason.

If you’re in the mood to read a restaurant reviewer’s existential crisis over three bad meals at Per Se, my colleague Tom insists you check out Pete Wells’ latest masterpiece. Clutch lines include “… a grainy chestnut purée that tasted like peanut butter to which something terrible had been done.” Though I will say that a bad meal at $3,000 a pop would put anyone in a poetically bad mood. God, that’s like a tiny apartment monthly rental in San Francisco.
In case you were wondering, wearing unearned medals is protected by 1st Amendment. And how dare you insinuate I didn’t earn my Arctic Star.

Looking for the perfect gift for Purim? I hear replicas of El Chapo’s Hawaiian floral disco leisure shirt are selling like cartel hotcakes.
And finally, you know you’re Canadian if you chortle at this joke headline: TWITTER FEUD ERUPTS BETWEEN REX MURPHY AND THE POLKAROO (please let it be a joke headline.)

Bye bye!