The Snowmageddon Rodent Apocalypse is Upon Us.
Sweeties! Would you make fun of me if I told you that this week I’ve had my alarm set for 6 am, not 5 am, because I’m not working and wanted to let myself sleep in like a normal human person, but that it causes me anxiety to lose that extra hour in the morning so I’m thinking of getting back on the 5 am train? Bueller?
Stop what you’re doing and enjoy this because you deserve it: These Dogs At The Westminster Dog Show Are The Self Care Inspo We Need For 2019.
I love this headline and story like WHOA: Mueller Probe Cost $25 Million So Far, Report Says. It’s Pulled in $48 Million From Tax Cheats. Yeeeeea, pay those bills Bob so you can keep doing your thing and we can all sleep a bit better at night.
Coolcoolcoolcoolcool: Tobacco use by teens soars, erasing past progress, CDC says. Basically, e-cigarettes have made nicotine consumption cool again, so it’s no surprise that Altria (a re-branded Phillip Morris company, maker of Marlboro cigarettes) invested $12.8 billion in e-cigarette maker JUUL? And hey, did you know that in addition to spending hundreds of millions of dollars on lobbying, Altria has also funded an org that lobbied against “scientific consensus” on human-caused climate change? Because I sure didn't! COOLTOTHEMAX!
And finally, Snowmageddon has left a metric crap-tonne of snow on Vancouver Island and the British Columbia Coast in Canada, which is pretty insane for this region, as my coastal cousins liked to remind me when they got snow days for single snowflakes while growing up while us Albertans trudged through all minus 30 weather with wolves after us, uphill both ways like a frozen/polite Escher painting (hi fam, I'm still bitter about that!). Now, major weather disturbances like this are scary, and cause death in at-risk populations. I am not laughing at that in the slightest, and I hope the coast digs out quickly and safely. BUT, as a pun lover from a crazy snowy but rat-free province, this B.C. headline made me guffaw with schadenfreude: Totally rat-ical: Tobogganer's mid-air collision with rodent caught on camera.
You’re all lovely. Be kind to yourself, and each other.