When Writing This Subject Line, All I Could Think Was “God Bless Coffee,” So I’m Going To Run With That.
My dearests! It’s been a couple of days of early morning meetings for me, so my pre-dawn minutes have been spent in front of a Zoom camera and not here, dear readers, scouring the internet for things that will either inspire you or frighten you enough about your current political quagmire to sign up to volunteer with the Blue political candidate or cause of your choice.
And we didn’t even have the chance to mark the fact that we’ve entered yet another month of staying home. Hey, remember in March when we thought this would last a month or two? Those were more innocent times, back before we found out that masks that prevent the spread of a deadly and highly-communicable disease were actually hyper-political signifiers of morality or something, I dunno, I’m just tired and snarky and it’s hard to maintain sarcasm past a sentence or two whilst staring down the stark realities of our twisted time. TL;DR, please please please please wear a mask and then vote, for the love of all things good, do those two things and perhaps we can all start wearing regular pants again.
To the internet!
500 American faith leaders across all the major religions came together to endorse the Biden Harris ticket, with one of the leaders of the group telling HuffPost, “Faith leaders will be held accountable by God and history for how we used our voices right now… Did we bless our neighbor or did we curse them. That will be the question.”
Ady Barkan, the lawyer and activist whose computerized voice (he suffers from ALS) was used in a manipulated, misleading ad to attack Biden wrote in the Washington Post about “the way in which America has cleaved into two separate information universes, with a conservative media ecosystem amplifying falsehoods that then take root.” It’s very good.
Today in just perfect headlines: Flat Earthers Quarantined After Taking Wrong Route Trying to Find End of the World. Whoops!
Today’s a double satire day in my world, because LOL the only way I can truly contemplate our precarious moment in time is through humor. So in addition to today’s “And finally,” please read McSweeney’s Frog And Toad Are Self-Quarantined Friends.
And finally, Alexandra Petri embarked on a tour de force of liquid savory meal puns and observations in response to Trump’s insane comment about bags of soup… being used to assault people? Am I taking crazy pills? Did that actually happen? I can’t… is this the thing that breaks me? Anyhoo, readThe terrible dangers of weaponized soup and then make sure you’re registered to vote, mmmkay? Sigh.
Y’all are lovely. I’ll see you tomorrow. Please wear a mask and wash your hands and be kind to each other, and to yourself.