Woodland Creature Phrenology, and Other Absolutely Lucrative Pursuits
|Amy Widdowson||Dec 4, 2018|
Mein Liebchens! Happy Holidays, specifically the holiday of Hanukkah. My Menorahsaurus Rex (handcrafted by the amazing Lilia) is set up, I’m researching brisket recipes (SEND THEM TO ME PLS, I NEED A GOOD ONE) and I’m bummed about the fact that I didn’t buy the My Favorite Murder t-shirt that reads “L’chaim, bitches!”
There’s never been a better line from a gadget review, in the history of the internet: “...you should spend some time with Yoga Book C930, a triumphantly pointless piece of technology that stands before the world with its fists on its hips and proudly proclaims, "We did it because we can.””
Them: “Damn Millennials and their lack of savings or drive or anything of cultural value, buy a house!” Me: Opens up the internet, reads “This $1.29 million, 790-square-foot micro-apartment features a hidden pantry and motor-powered cabinets,” closes internet, moves to the woods, takes up woodland creature phrenology, dies alone.
I haven’t even read this article, but I’ll be damned if I wasn’t going to share this headline: Joystick: The Untold Story Of Ottawa’s Coke-Fueled 1980’s Video Game Industry.
And finally, we’re all doomed to technology-induced mediocrity, because just having your phone next to you, within your sightline, will make you less productive: “Hide Your Phone When You’re Trying to Work. Seriously.”
Hugs and kisses, dearests! Don’t forget that I am available to be your guest at holiday parties, especially since I don’t drink (cheap!) and I genuinely enjoy small talk with strangers. Just set me near the dessert table and I am good to go!
Be kind to each other. And to yourself!