Woodland Creature Phrenology, and Other Absolutely Lucrative Pursuits
Mein Liebchens! Happy Holidays, specifically the holiday of Hanukkah. My Menorahsaurus Rex (handcrafted by the amazing Lilia) is set up, I’m researching brisket recipes (SEND THEM TO ME PLS, I NEED A GOOD ONE) and I’m bummed about the fact that I didn’t buy the My Favorite Murder t-shirt that reads “L’chaim, bitches!”
There’s never been a better line from a gadget review, in the history of the internet: “...you should spend some time with Yoga Book C930, a triumphantly pointless piece of technology that stands before the world with its fists on its hips and proudly proclaims, "We did it because we can.””
Them: “Damn Millennials and their lack of savings or drive or anything of cultural value, buy a house!” Me: Opens up the internet, reads “This $1.29 million, 790-square-foot micro-apartment features a hidden pantry and motor-powered cabinets,” closes internet, moves to the woods, takes up woodland creature phrenology, dies alone.
I haven’t even read this article, but I’ll be damned if I wasn’t going to share this headline: Joystick: The Untold Story Of Ottawa’s Coke-Fueled 1980’s Video Game Industry.
And finally, we’re all doomed to technology-induced mediocrity, because just having your phone next to you, within your sightline, will make you less productive: “Hide Your Phone When You’re Trying to Work. Seriously.”
Hugs and kisses, dearests! Don’t forget that I am available to be your guest at holiday parties, especially since I don’t drink (cheap!) and I genuinely enjoy small talk with strangers. Just set me near the dessert table and I am good to go!
Be kind to each other. And to yourself!